Tips on Improving Your Home's Emotional Climate

There are all sorts of families. Some are noisy, others are quiet. But no matter what kind of families and parents there are, the home has to be a place of love, encouragement and acceptance for kids to feel emotionally safe and secure. It also has to be a source of boundaries and limits. Here are some suggestions to improve your home's emotional climate:

1. Watch What You Say. When parents consistently blame kids in exaggerated ways, children feel overly guilty and ashamed and withdraw emotionally. That's why criticism should be done constructively. Cite causes that are specific and temporary.

2. Provide Order and Stability. A predictable daily framework, clear and consistent rules, and an organized house make the whole family more relaxed and comfortable. This spells emotional equilibrium and gives reassuring and familiar support during times of conflicts.

3. Hold Family Meetings. Regular family meetings give each one a chance to air and resolve grievances, as well as share good news.

4. Encourage Loving Feelings. Researchers have found that parents who spend time playing, joking with and sharing their own thoughts and feelings with their kids have children who are more friendly, generous and loving.

5. Create Rituals. Setting aside special times of the day or week to come together as a family gives the children a sense of continuity. Which stays with them as they change and grow. It could be Mass and lunch as a family every Sunday, for example.

10 Golden Rules of Child Rearing

Raising children can be the most wonderfully challenging adventure of your life. Here are 10 useful reminders and rules.

1. Children are not pets.
2. The life they actually live and the life you perceive them to be living is not the same.
3. Don't take what your children do too personally.
4. Don't keep score cards on them - a short memory is useful.
5. Dirt and mess are breeding ground for well being.
6. Stay out of their rooms after puberty.
7. Stay out of their friendships and love life unless invited in.
8. Don't worry that they never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
9. Learn from them; they have much to teach you.
10. Love them long; let them go early.

Are White Lies Okay?

This is kinda hard to explain, should we allow our child to, well do a white lie? Because we all know that a white lie is still a lie, no matter how you look at it. But sometimes it needs to be done. For example if Lola's coming to visit with a birthday gift for your child and when your child receives the gift and doesn't like the gift that would hurt their Lola's feeling right? So this is where the white lie comes in. But its important to explain to kids that once in a while, we stretch the truth so someone's feeling don't get hurt, so you remind him to thank her Lola even if it's something he didn't want. But don't encourage him to rave about the gift either. A simple "It was nice of you to get me a gift, Lola" would work best.

But I think white lies are never okay when you use them on your child. If he asks if a shot at the doctor's will hurt, tell him it's going to sting, but the shot is important and it'll be over quickly." You have to model honesty even when you know the truth will make your child unhappy, because you need to build trust.

What do you Do when you child says "I HATE YOU!"

Its a painful word to hear from your child whom you have love so much and suddenly tells you "I hate you". But remember that asserting their independence is one process by which kids and adults grow up. So what do when they say that hurtful words , "I hate you!".

• Don't Overreact. Experts say that it's important for kids to hear you affirms their underlying feelings without contradicting or denying them. At the same time, help your kid realize that erupting angrily during an argument isn't appropriate. You can say, "I know you're angry at me but calm down before we'll talk."

• Air Grievances. Don't take too long before having your follow up discussion. Focus on asking questions and listening. And, don't interrupt. This will only frustrate them further.

• Ask for their Ideas. When you ask him to give a specific solution, the child will feel that you value his opinion and is also given the challenge to come up with something that will make him feel better.

• End with Love. Comfort your child by telling him that we all have feelings of intense anger and even hatred, but that these are natural and don't last long. Reassure him with your love.
  

Warnign Signs of Voilent Behavior in Children

• Intense anger

• Frequent loss of temper or blowups

• Extreme irritability

• Extreme impulsiveness

• Becoming easily frustrated
  

How to Improve Mother and Daughter Relationship

Here are five typical types of relationships and how to improve them:

1. Best Friends. Others envy your relationship with one another. While this is good as you operate on a level playing field, you must also remember that at times, a daughter needs a parent. So both parties need to respect their roles and acknowledge the generation gap.

2. Sisterly. Though not quite best friends, you have a deep connection with each other and like each other. Usually in this type of relationship, there is some sense of competition, even though many families want to repress it. So try to understand what the other is feeling and be especially supportive int hose areas.

3. Clashing Personalities. You're always butting heads against each other, which can be difficult. Mothers should not underestimate their power and overestimate their daughter and vice versa. Adult daughters should listen to their mother's advice even if they don't necessarily have to follow them so that the mother wont feel ignored.

4. Reverse Nurture. Your roles are switching because of age, health, finances or culture. This usually improves relations as daughters feel needed and mothers feel loved. But it's important for daughters to make sure mothers feel more valued as they become less dominant in the family. Take time to talk about traditions and values that you share.

5. Enmeshed. No decision gets made without the others approval in this type of relationship. While you can always count on the other, it;s tough to create boundaries. Because this type of relationship is often driven by fear of abandonment, it is good to slowly build boundaries while still emphasizing the mother's value.

The Flower Girl

Keona on her dress on my brothers wedding. Shes the flower girl, though shes only 1 year and 2 months now turning 3 months by the end of January. She looks cute on her outfit. Ans she always like to show off, especially if shes wearing something new. Although during the wedding my wife had to carry her, though she can walk but only when someone is holding her hand. She wont walk on her own, though we know she can do it. But she preferred to have someone hold her hand. Im eagerly awaiting for the day the she can walk on her own without someone holding her hand.