What do you Do when you child says "I HATE YOU!"

Its a painful word to hear from your child whom you have love so much and suddenly tells you "I hate you". But remember that asserting their independence is one process by which kids and adults grow up. So what do when they say that hurtful words , "I hate you!".

• Don't Overreact. Experts say that it's important for kids to hear you affirms their underlying feelings without contradicting or denying them. At the same time, help your kid realize that erupting angrily during an argument isn't appropriate. You can say, "I know you're angry at me but calm down before we'll talk."

• Air Grievances. Don't take too long before having your follow up discussion. Focus on asking questions and listening. And, don't interrupt. This will only frustrate them further.

• Ask for their Ideas. When you ask him to give a specific solution, the child will feel that you value his opinion and is also given the challenge to come up with something that will make him feel better.

• End with Love. Comfort your child by telling him that we all have feelings of intense anger and even hatred, but that these are natural and don't last long. Reassure him with your love.
  

Warnign Signs of Voilent Behavior in Children

• Intense anger

• Frequent loss of temper or blowups

• Extreme irritability

• Extreme impulsiveness

• Becoming easily frustrated
  

Tips on How to Teach Children to Resolve their Conflict

Fighting, feuds and favoritism. It is inevitable as the sunrise. Siblings will fight. But how they fight, how often and how to resolve their arguments are critical in teaching kids how to listen, negotiate and compromise. In addition, they realize that anger is natural and that they can differ and yet coexist with someone they love. Again, in the end, it is up to you to make fights productive.

Here are tips on how to teach children to resolve their conflicts:

1. Play detective. Look for triggers and patterns of fights and you can help avoid fights.

2. Be funny. Without mocking your children, diffuse situations with humor.

3. Use praise. Pat them on their backs when they reach compromises.

4. Do not make assumptions. Any one of your kids could have pushed the wrong buttons.

5. Acknowledge their anger. Stress that what is important is how they resolve their feelings.

6. Tell them you believe they can work things out on their own.

7. Model good behavior. Show respect and restraint when you argue with your spouse.

8. Ban violence. Make it clear that physical violence will not be tolerated.

9. Be their coach. Teach them how to fight fairly.

10. Remind them of what they know. Instead of intervening to settle an argument, point out what they can work with to reach a settlement.