What do you Do when you child says "I HATE YOU!"

Its a painful word to hear from your child whom you have love so much and suddenly tells you "I hate you". But remember that asserting their independence is one process by which kids and adults grow up. So what do when they say that hurtful words , "I hate you!".

• Don't Overreact. Experts say that it's important for kids to hear you affirms their underlying feelings without contradicting or denying them. At the same time, help your kid realize that erupting angrily during an argument isn't appropriate. You can say, "I know you're angry at me but calm down before we'll talk."

• Air Grievances. Don't take too long before having your follow up discussion. Focus on asking questions and listening. And, don't interrupt. This will only frustrate them further.

• Ask for their Ideas. When you ask him to give a specific solution, the child will feel that you value his opinion and is also given the challenge to come up with something that will make him feel better.

• End with Love. Comfort your child by telling him that we all have feelings of intense anger and even hatred, but that these are natural and don't last long. Reassure him with your love.
  

Tips to make going to school easier for your Child

• PUT ON A HAPPY FACE. Children are very receptive to the emotions of those around them. So even if you feel like crying, put on a brave front, and mask your apprehensions with a smile and lots of assuring words. When your child sees you are okay, he is reassured that he will be okay.

• NEVER SNEAK OFF. If parents or caregivers disappear, this would only make the situation worse, and build more anxiety within the child. Do not sneak out of the classroom or keep coming back for a last hug or kiss. The caring thing to do would be to get out efficiently and effectively.

• HAVE YOUR CHILD COME TO SCHOOL WITH A REMINDER OF HOME. A family photo or a special toy will help bridge the familiar with the unfamiliar. It will also give the teacher plenty of opportunity to talk to your child about something he is familiar with, allowing the bond of trust to develop.

• TRUST YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER. Be assured that the teachers are equipped to handle your child's distress. It is easier for a child to warm up to a teacher if he can see that you trust her, too.

• ALWAYS KEEP YOUR PROMISES TO YOUR CHILD. If you say you will pick him up right after school, be outside when dismissal time comes so your child sees you immediately. This reinforces the trust between you and your little one and lessens the anxiety he is feeling.
  

Different ways to deal with Child Misbehavior

1. Divert their attention. Suggesting an alternate acceptable behavior, changing the setting to prevent misbehavior, or gently taking the child's hand and showing him what you want him to do are some of the ways to redirect a child's attention.

2. Ignore provocations. Children sometimes misbehave to get attention and ignoring fights between siblings is sometimes helpful. However, arguments between children in the family that put a very young child in danger should be addressed.

3. State the consequences firmly. Allow children to experience the consequences of their behavior. Unpleasant consequences will likely discourage a child from misbehaving. Remember to be firm when setting and reinforcing rules and consequences. Children can easily detect weak arguments.

4. Set clear, reasonable limits. Letting your child know and understand the rules allow him to expect the unexpected. Limits must be correspond to the child's ability and be consistently enforced.

5. Offer choices. Allowing children to make small choices prepares them to make bigger decisions in the future. Also, it's a good way to build confidence.

6. Call attention to good behavior. This approach reminds children to change behavior. Children who behave well deserve appreciation. In time, they will understand that good behavior is a way to get noticed. However, be careful with comments and how you express them. They may sound more like criticism.

7. Provide renewal time. Renewal time or time out is an excellent discipline method to use when your kids are bugging you. A child is asked to move to a quieter and safe place for some renewal time until he feels more relaxed.

8. Remove yourself from the situation. Some children consider a parent's presence rewarding. Try isolating yourself.

9. Use positive and encouraging words. Let children know what kind of behavior you approve of rather than those you disapprove of. Changing the "donts" to "dos" will definitely take time, but is worth the effort. Give gentle reminders. This will give children a sense of security and strengthen self control.

10. Practice thinking like a child. Children experiment on things they see adult doing. Providing ample and interesting opportunities for learning will keep your child busy and productive.

Tips on how to discipline your child when begging to buy something

One should not get worry when their child might grow up to be materialistic or greedy. This behavior can be curbed when responded to and addressed correctly. Giving in never helps. It just sets a precedent for other situations. Once you give in, then your child knows he can manipulate you. When you give in, your child learns that the next time he wants something and can't get it, he just has to throw a tantrum. Here are some tips to teach your child that he cannot always get what he wants.

• Talk to your child. Calmly explain to your little one in simple words that money is valuable. That you have to earn it to be able to buy something; that parents work hard to earn money. In the same way, (your child) also has to work hard to get what he wants. This will help him learn to value money as well as be more industrious

• Bring your child to work. Let your child see what you do. You can tell him, "I do this so you can have food, so you can go to school, so I can give you gifts when you're well behaved."

• Expose him to other children. children who are exposed to playgrounds or go to school learn about ownership and possession because there are other kids they need to share the toys and books with. This teaches them the value of sharing and taking turns.

• Be a good example. Parents can explain this concept to their kids by acting it out or role playing. For example, Mommy can ask Daddy if she could borrow his cellphone for a minute and then return it afterwards. Act this out in front of your child so he can observe you.

• Teach the magic words of sharing and borrowing. Instead of just saying "May i borrow.." get your child involved by saying, "May we borrow your____, please?" Parents should also follow up this lesson with the idea of things we cannot share and why we cannot share these. This will strengthen and reinforce the concept of possession. Examples of things we cannot share are personal objects such as toothbrush, underwear, towels, etc. Because it is not hygienic to do so.

• Give your child a piggy bank or savings account. Aside from teaching him about the value of money, this is also a way for your child to discover what possession and ownership are all about. Remind him that the money he saves is his and that he should use his money for things he believes have value.

• Read books on sharing and ownership. Storybooks about sharing help teach the concept of ownership quite well. It helps your child understand that some things are "mine" and some are "yours"

• Come up with a wish list. This isn't an ordinary list of things your child might want, but rather a wish list of expectation to be able to receive the item as a reward (its a good way to let your child understand that things aren't always given freely, but that you have to work hard to get what you want. This can translate to a good work ethic in the future where your child will be aware that you have put in effort to gain something in return.