Are White Lies Okay?

This is kinda hard to explain, should we allow our child to, well do a white lie? Because we all know that a white lie is still a lie, no matter how you look at it. But sometimes it needs to be done. For example if Lola's coming to visit with a birthday gift for your child and when your child receives the gift and doesn't like the gift that would hurt their Lola's feeling right? So this is where the white lie comes in. But its important to explain to kids that once in a while, we stretch the truth so someone's feeling don't get hurt, so you remind him to thank her Lola even if it's something he didn't want. But don't encourage him to rave about the gift either. A simple "It was nice of you to get me a gift, Lola" would work best.

But I think white lies are never okay when you use them on your child. If he asks if a shot at the doctor's will hurt, tell him it's going to sting, but the shot is important and it'll be over quickly." You have to model honesty even when you know the truth will make your child unhappy, because you need to build trust.

Different ways to deal with Child Misbehavior

1. Divert their attention. Suggesting an alternate acceptable behavior, changing the setting to prevent misbehavior, or gently taking the child's hand and showing him what you want him to do are some of the ways to redirect a child's attention.

2. Ignore provocations. Children sometimes misbehave to get attention and ignoring fights between siblings is sometimes helpful. However, arguments between children in the family that put a very young child in danger should be addressed.

3. State the consequences firmly. Allow children to experience the consequences of their behavior. Unpleasant consequences will likely discourage a child from misbehaving. Remember to be firm when setting and reinforcing rules and consequences. Children can easily detect weak arguments.

4. Set clear, reasonable limits. Letting your child know and understand the rules allow him to expect the unexpected. Limits must be correspond to the child's ability and be consistently enforced.

5. Offer choices. Allowing children to make small choices prepares them to make bigger decisions in the future. Also, it's a good way to build confidence.

6. Call attention to good behavior. This approach reminds children to change behavior. Children who behave well deserve appreciation. In time, they will understand that good behavior is a way to get noticed. However, be careful with comments and how you express them. They may sound more like criticism.

7. Provide renewal time. Renewal time or time out is an excellent discipline method to use when your kids are bugging you. A child is asked to move to a quieter and safe place for some renewal time until he feels more relaxed.

8. Remove yourself from the situation. Some children consider a parent's presence rewarding. Try isolating yourself.

9. Use positive and encouraging words. Let children know what kind of behavior you approve of rather than those you disapprove of. Changing the "donts" to "dos" will definitely take time, but is worth the effort. Give gentle reminders. This will give children a sense of security and strengthen self control.

10. Practice thinking like a child. Children experiment on things they see adult doing. Providing ample and interesting opportunities for learning will keep your child busy and productive.

Tips for Effective Discipline on Children

• Trust your child to do the right thing within the limits of his age and stage of development.

• Make sure what you ask for is reasonable.

• Speak to your child as you would want to be spoken to if someone was reprimanding you. Don't resort to name calling, yelling or disrespect.

• Be clear about what you mean. Be firm and specific.

• Model positive behavior. "Do as i day, not as I do" seldom works.

• Allow for negotiation and flexibility, which can help build your child's social skill.

• Let you child experience the consequences of his behavior.

• Whenever possible, consequences should be delivered immediately, should relate to the rule broken, and be short enough in duration that you can move on again to emphasize the positives.

• Consequences should be fair and appropriate to the situation and the child's age.