Thursday, April 29, 2010

10 Tips in dealing with sibling rivalry

Here are 10 tips on surviving your kids squabbles:

1. Don't compare. In an effort to push their kids to, maybe, do better in school or be more well behaved, parents often compare their kids with each other, "Your baby brother eats his vegetables, Why don't you eat yours?" The comparison may work in some cases . However comparing children with each other often sets them up for a great deal of jealousy and envy later on. Let each child feel positive about being different.

2. Do spend alone time with each child. Even just 20 minutes a day spent exclusively with your child without the distractions of your cell phone or of having to take care of her sibling, gives a huge boost to your child's self esteem. Studies show that one on one attention with a child per day will significantly reduce whining and aggressive behavior.

3. Do keep your cool. Once you blow your top and start yelling, too, you will just be throwing yourself into the melee. Block out the fighting for a second to take a deep breath. Then count to 10. Continue to 20 if you find you're still irritate at 10. Keep going until you're back in control.

4. Don't resolve the conflict while everyone is upset. Calmly but firmly separate the two children and lead them to separate rooms. Talk with them only after they and you have had a few minutes to cool down.

5. Do make each child feel uniquely special. Nurture each of your children's unique talents. Don't limit them with labels or comparisons; don't typecast. Let each child be who they are.

6. Do be demonstrative about your love for each child. Reassure your kids that you love each of them in his own way.

7. Do be profuse with praise when it is deserved. Let your kids know they did a good job when you catch them being their own. Always praise cooperative behavior when the kids are able to settle arguments on their own.

8. Do bolster good behavior, not with material rewards but with your time. Reward your children with your approval, affection, and personal attention. It is the most effective way to reinforce desired behavior.

9. Do encourage personal goals. Sometimes, it is helpful to encourage children to turn to their competitive feelings into personal goals for themselves. Teach your toddlers to 'compete' with themselves instead of with each other. Channel their aggressive behavior into mastering how to bounce a ball, hop, or tie shoelaces.

10. Don't take sides. Instead, calm them down separately, sit with them, and have each one 'confess' his own actions, not the other child's. This technique helps children accept responsibility for their actions and lessens blaming.



Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

No comments:

Post a Comment

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails